Date:
29 Dec 2002
Time:
22:22:31
Remote User:

Comments

I was wundring when our 2 nu ratz mite be coming?

Scabbers

Date:
29 Dec 2002
Time:
22:23:14
Remote User:

Comments

Scabbers

I anticipate your new friends will be coming around January 10th.

Date:
30 Dec 2002
Time:
10:03:29
Remote User:

Comments

I am in college and trying to choose s major, but I can't decide between history and math. What do you see for me?

Lucinda

Date:
30 Dec 2002
Time:
10:46:57
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Lucinda

The future is foggy, so much indecision. You may end up dropping each of these and going for a business degree instead. In any case, an advanced degree is in your future.

Laura

Date:
30 Dec 2002
Time:
19:01:44
Remote User:

Comments

Will my friend LeVenda win her government contract?

Judi

Date:
30 Dec 2002
Time:
19:11:16
Remote User:

Comments

my question is this, ms laura.... what is the SECOND TO THE LAST digit in pi. that's all i want to know. oh, and what IS that thing on your head in the picture above? those two questions are tearing at my soul. i can't sleep at night. i look forward to your reply!

Date:
30 Dec 2002
Time:
19:13:08
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Judi

When it comes to the government, even us blessed with psychic powers are somewhat perplexed. The whiskers on my muzzle are curling, which lends a favorable sign toward yes.

Date:
30 Dec 2002
Time:
19:16:36
Remote User:

Comments

Dear mysterious pi questioner

Even I, the great Laura cannot describe this answer in a way that is meaningful on the physical realm. The thing on my head is my mystic divination hat.

Yours, Laura

Date:
30 Dec 2002
Time:
19:16:59
Remote User:

Comments

Dear mysterious pi questioner

Even I, the great Laura cannot describe this answer in a way that is meaningful on the physical realm. The thing on my head is my mystic divination hat.

Yours, Laura

Date:
30 Dec 2002
Time:
20:32:22
Remote User:

Comments

Do you really think the tile man will come tomorrow?

Date:
30 Dec 2002
Time:
22:15:51
Remote User:

Comments

Yes, he will come, but probably at an inconvenient time.

Date:
31 Dec 2002
Time:
12:50:43
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura:

Do you think we'll be able to get the bonus calculations done without a hitch this year?

Signed, former Nervous System Employee

Date:
31 Dec 2002
Time:
14:24:59
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Nervous

I predict that the bonus will be 99% correct. However, due to the complexity of the situation involved, there will be some problems that will surface just when you have breathed an early sigh of relief. Expect a line at your door.

Laura

Date:
31 Dec 2002
Time:
14:32:27
Remote User:

Comments

You sure look lonely, wouldn't you like to have some canine friends?

Date:
31 Dec 2002
Time:
17:36:55
Remote User:

Comments

Ms. Laura,

Do you forsee any spiders in my near future? What is your opinion on spiders for playmates?

Spiderless

Date:
01 Jan 2003
Time:
03:06:42
Remote User:

Comments

Hi Laura...I have always wondered why we can brush our hair and when we look at our brush...SO MUCH seems to come out, but we still have a full head of hair...this has always been a burning question in my mind...I am hoping you can help me understand why! Thanks so much for your help.

Your friend,

Full 'o hair

Date:
01 Jan 2003
Time:
13:09:38
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Questioners

Since I have several letters to answer, I will do so all at once.

Thank you for your concern, but Madame Laura is not lonely. I find that the company of other mere mortal dogs is annoying. While I am trying to see the future, apply my skills toward the benefit of all dogkind, I find the other pups have little on their mind besides digging another hole, chewing on the carpet etc. All this foolishness clouds my vision.

Dear Spider Lady: I personally find spiders to be tasty treats. Although some can leave a bad taste in your mouth, some are down right delicious. I advise you to keep trying until you find one you like.

Dear brush questioner: I have been working on the mystery of hairgrowth and hair shedding for a long time. Why do some of us have so much, while others have little? I am afraid it is just another injustice of the world. Personally, I will continue to be thankful to see the head remain full.

Be sure and catch my predictions for the New Year!

Date:
02 Jan 2003
Time:
18:14:54
Remote User:

Comments

mY mA5ter dO3sn'T Und3r5TanD wHy i a1Way5 hAvE t0 eAt mY d0gf0Od bY wALkiNG oV3r t0 tHe cApaRt? D0 y0U tHinK hE wi1l EvEr Und3rSTanD? LUlu

Date:
02 Jan 2003
Time:
19:27:41
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Lulu

This is something that humans just can't understand. Don't they prefer to eat with a table cloth instead of just a bare table? It jazzes it up a bit, and I think we deserve something special sometimes. Besides, it makes the carpet more fun to chew on if there are crumbs mashed into it.

ML

Date:
04 Jan 2003
Time:
09:34:25
Remote User:

Comments

Madame Laura, you are a true soothsayer. I have an important question for you to enlighten me with, do you think that the temperture in Austin will be above 83 degrees before mid February? Thank you for your enlightenment. Sincerely, 20 bucks

Date:
04 Jan 2003
Time:
10:51:47
Remote User:

Comments

Dear 20 Bucks Although it seems to have been 83 degrees at least 13 times in the last two months, I don't foresee it getting much over 74 until March. However, you should stay away from making any monetary bets...what is that saying about a fool and his money?

ML

Date:
06 Jan 2003
Time:
10:28:44
Remote User:

Comments

Madame Laura, do you live in Central Texas or were you on warm weather vacation since November, I can't recall even one day that it was above 75 degrees, sincerely, 20 bucks

Date:
06 Jan 2003
Time:
17:37:40
Remote User:

Comments

Dear 20 Bucks

Obviously, your memory is as bad as your punctuation....or perhaps the heat is affecting your memory? In any case, my prediction stands.

ML

Date:
08 Jan 2003
Time:
09:02:23
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Madame Laura, as I sit in my hospital room recovering, I wonder if I will ever find another acting role in a good movie or tv show? Sincerely, Tom Selleck

Date:
08 Jan 2003
Time:
09:47:21
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Tom Your good looks and charm defy the ravages of time. I predict you will make a full recovery, both physically and regarding your career. If not, you can always run away with me.

ML

Date:
08 Jan 2003
Time:
15:38:57
Remote User:

Comments

Madame Laura, are you concerned about the growing canine obesity problem? We dogs are forced to eat table scraps while having endless supplies of food in our bowls? Instead of neighborhood walks, our owners send us out into the privacy fenced-in back yards for our exercize. It is like some prison movie, only there are usually at most only one other dog. What can we canines do about this terrible problem? Fat Dog

Date:
08 Jan 2003
Time:
18:43:36
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Fat Dog,

I share your pain. I think the only recourse is through the legal system. Afterall, if humans can sue McDonald's for making their fries too tasty, surely we have a case. I suggest consulting a lawyer...perhaps that one who wears a beret on her commercial.

ML

Date:
09 Jan 2003
Time:
20:13:26
Remote User:

Comments

Your biting wit and howl at the moon attitude is quite attractive, would you ever consider dating someone who may be a little different?

Freddie the Ferret

Date:
09 Jan 2003
Time:
21:36:38
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Freddie

Diversity is what it is all about, baby. When you are in my line of specialty, you keep an open mind about many things. I have many rodent friends, maybe you could become one of them.....

ML

Date:
09 Jan 2003
Time:
23:46:47
Remote User:

Comments

Do you think Dubber will "shoot his eye out" with his new four-wheeler?

Date:
10 Jan 2003
Time:
14:30:14
Remote User:

Comments

No, he won't shoot his eye out. I do foresee a run in with a tree or several.

ML

Date:
18 Jan 2003
Time:
22:12:12
Remote User:

Comments

What's on your head

Date:
19 Jan 2003
Time:
12:33:03
Remote User:

Comments

It is my mystic divination hat.

ML

Date:
27 Jan 2003
Time:
08:57:15
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura the Wonder-Psychic Dog: My company used to be a "high-flying software maker" and now we are a "troubled software maker" and sometimes a "struggling software maker". Do you think I should change careers or hold on for the long haul. I have survived 8 layoffs.

Date:
27 Jan 2003
Time:
09:41:44
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Layoff

I think you should hang out. The reality of the day is that nowhere is safe. You could find a wonderful job elsewhere only to be laid off from it next week for any variety of reasons. However, if you start hearing them talk about "delaying payroll for cashflow reasons", borrowing money from employees, or asking employees to work for free "only for this week"...get out fast!

ML

Date:
28 Jan 2003
Time:
09:47:09
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura, Do you like computers? It must be very hard to type with those doggie paws.

ten-fingers

Date:
29 Jan 2003
Time:
23:15:06
Remote User:

Comments

Madame Laura,

My heart longs for one special person. Will it happen or will my search be destined to continue?

Wondering...

Date:
31 Jan 2003
Time:
17:07:18
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Ten Fingers

I do find typing on these keyboards quite challenging. However, the love I have for my fans makes it all worth while.

Cheers

ML

Date:
31 Jan 2003
Time:
17:12:51
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Wondering You will be free to find love when you open your heart to opportunity. Find happiness in yourself first, then love will find you.

ML

Date:
31 Jan 2003
Time:
18:22:19
Remote User:

Comments

dear psychic wonder dog,

there are several posts on this board which could be interpreted as flirtatious. are you single?

curious

Date:
01 Feb 2003
Time:
22:37:32
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Curious

My charm and wit often attract the attention of others. One can never have too many friends.

ML

Date:
06 Feb 2003
Time:
16:23:22
Remote User:

Comments

WILL I HAVE A GOOD DATE THIS YEAR? YOUR AUNT MELODY REFERRED ME TO YOU. I AM SO EXCITED TO HAVE MY QUESTION IN THE PAWS OF SUCH A CAPABLE READER!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

Date:
06 Feb 2003
Time:
23:35:11
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Paws

I predict a year full of fun, exciting dates and maybe that special someone is right around the next hydrant.

ML

Date:
09 Feb 2003
Time:
14:40:30
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura

Did you predict the snow that we experienced?

Wondering

Date:
09 Feb 2003
Time:
14:43:16
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Wondering

This is a rather funny story. I picked up the sense of the coming snow early in the week. However, the weather men seemed so intent on also predicting the snow that I began to think I must be wrong...after all, how often do the weather forecasters get this kind of thing right? I did notice a significant disturbance in my psychic powers, this only happens if unusual weather is approaching or when we run out of my favorite kibble.

ML

Date:
18 Feb 2003
Time:
11:27:07
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura, Will I ever lose the ten pounds that I have gained in the last few months? And if so, what diet plan must I use to achieve this? So glad you have psychic powers to help the needy in the world. Sincerely, Anne

Date:
18 Feb 2003
Time:
11:42:28
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Anne

I have studied the process of weight gain and loss over the years and have finally come to the conclusion that, apparently....diet and exercise are the only things that really work. So, to answer your question.....the answer is "no". Just give it up. My God, woman, you are approaching your 40's. Just enjoy life and quit worrying about superficial things like "how you look" or if your jeans fit. I mean, you have a man and all...why worry about it? That is what elastic was made for! BTW...have you tried those M/M ice cream cones, sold in all fine supermarkets in the frozen food section? They are to DIE for. I like to sprinkle mine with jerky-treats.

Happy eating!

ML

Date:
24 Feb 2003
Time:
16:59:09
Remote User:

Comments

Dear ML,

Do full moons interfere with your psychic abilities? I must know when best to send my all important questions...full moon or new moon.

With Great Respect,

Mister X

Date:
25 Feb 2003
Time:
10:42:16
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Mister X

Although my powers seem to be at their fullest with a full moon in respect to casting spells... those of us who are truly gifted can accurately provide psychic advice during any phase of the moon. Therefore, feel comfortable in submitting any of your most secret wonderings to me at any time.

ML

Date:
27 Feb 2003
Time:
22:35:59
Remote User:

Comments

Oh great psychic dog. Do you see major changes in my near future? Will they be good or bad?

Date:
28 Feb 2003
Time:
11:51:05
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Changes:

Yes

ML

Date:
22 Mar 2003
Time:
14:03:41
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura

With such uncertainty in the world, how do you stay so well grounded?

Overwhelmed

Date:
24 Mar 2003
Time:
10:51:32
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Overwhelmed

When I am feeling overwhelmed, I stay "grounded" by hunkering down in the big hole I dug in the backyard. I also find that a nap in the sun can make me feel better about almost anything.

ML

Date:
27 Mar 2003
Time:
10:46:33
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura,

Will 9900 Spectrum Drive become a sweater knitting facility or glue factory anytime soon? What counsel of hope do you offer the weary?

Wanna Bisquit!!??

Date:
30 Mar 2003
Time:
22:41:44
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Bisquit

For some reason, I see visions of crickets and cobwebs when contemplating your question. However, I think you specifically have some time left before joining the unemployed. I suggest you fill your worried hours taking care of persona business, getting your finances in order and developing a strategy for your cushy severance payment. One more thing....any "dirt" you might have on high ranking officers could come in handy right now.

ML

Date:
03 May 2003
Time:
02:21:59
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura, Will my husband be offered the fabulous early retirement package that he dreams of?

Date:
07 May 2003
Time:
14:21:00
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Retirment

He will be offered retirement, but it may not be the package he has always dreamed of. Nonetheless, I see prosperity in your future.

ML

Date:
20 May 2003
Time:
09:50:52
Remote User:

Comments

i was doing some freelance, but the client flaked out...since there was no money, the person I was subcontracting for is going to buy me an Xbox. She said that 3 weeks ago.

Where's My Xbox?

Date:
20 May 2003
Time:
10:08:09
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura the Wonder-Psychic Dog: I asked you in late January if I should contingue to hang out at the software company and you said to be wary of being asked to go without pay. We were asked to take 2 unpaid days off during the quarter. Does that count?

Layoff

Date:
20 May 2003
Time:
12:46:22
Remote User:

Comments

Dear XBox

I am afraid your XBox went the same place as my girlish figure. Lick your paws and move on.

ML

Date:
20 May 2003
Time:
12:49:10
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Layoff

You should have your ears pricked and nose to the wind. Sounds like your resources could be running out and it might be time to at least investigate alterate routes of escape. I see dark workings, things aren't as they seem.

ML

Date:
27 Jun 2003
Time:
15:46:46
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura

I need help with my boyfriend. He tells me he will call me, then he doesn't and offers no explanation. But if I don't call him or answer every time he calls me, he claims I am ignoring him. He breaks plans last minute with no explanation and everything seems to revolve around his schedule even though I drop everything I am doing to see him. They say that men are dogs, but have you ever known a dog to act this way?

Confused

Date:
27 Jun 2003
Time:
15:49:08
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Confused

When they say that "men are dogs", I always assumed it was a compliment. Your man is certainly not a dog. If you ask me, he sounds like a spoiled puppy who is taking you for granted. I suggest you become a little less available and let him come to you. Once he realizes you won't be his chew toy to pick up and drop as he pleases, he will be rolling over to please you.

ML

Date:
21 Jul 2003
Time:
21:46:23
Remote User:

Comments

will ripley grow anymore victoria

Date:
21 Jul 2003
Time:
21:46:26
Remote User:

Comments

will ripley grow anymore victoria

Date:
21 Jul 2003
Time:
21:46:26
Remote User:

Comments

will ripley grow anymore victoria

Date:
21 Jul 2003
Time:
21:46:26
Remote User:

Comments

will ripley grow anymore victoria

Date:
22 Jul 2003
Time:
15:18:08
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Victoria

I believe that Ripley will grow just a little more, but will get much furrier and somewhat fatter. In any case, what he lacks in size he makes up for in loveability and cuteness. Gotta love that little guy. Take care and brush your teeth twice a day.

ML

Date:
13 Aug 2003
Time:
11:03:36
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura

You are most wise in the ways of love. Please share with me your wisdom for my dilemma of the heart. My love is caring and generous when we are together, which is almost daily. However, there is always a time constraint. It seems no matter where we are, what we are doing, I have a time allowance of two hours max per day, 1 1/2 hours usually. When I occassionally suggest more time, my love agrees and seems excited. However when the day comes (and for any number of less than compelling reasons) I get only an hour and 1/2 and then my love is gone again. It is driving me crazy. Any advice?

Confused again

Date:
18 Aug 2003
Time:
22:44:39
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Confused Again

There are two possibilities, it doesn't take a psychic wonder-dog to see them. Your love is either a) unable to spend more time with you, or b) unwilling to spend more time with you. Sounds like there is some confusion on who is the master in this relationship. Perhaps a little refresher in obedience training is called for. Old dogs can learn new tricks, but only if they want to. Also, what's that they say about being careful about what you ask for.... ML

Date:
18 Aug 2003
Time:
22:44:57
Remote User:

Comments

Date:
21 Sep 2003
Time:
20:48:07
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura

I have been longing for a companion of my own kind, someone who can really understand the trials and tribulations of a lap dog. Do you see a friend in my future?

Ripley

Date:
21 Sep 2003
Time:
20:49:35
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Ripley

I have always known you needed someone like yourself to understand you. I am happy to tell you that I do see a friend in your near future. I see a dark girl, but it is hazy. Keep the faith.

ML

Date:
03 Feb 2004
Time:
09:10:59
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Laura the Wonder-Psychic Dog, My name is Janet and I am an entertainer. What do you think the future holds for my career this year?

Date:
13 Feb 2004
Time:
11:42:15
Remote User:

Comments

Dear Janet

Sorry Madame Laura was delayed in responding. I have been out partying at Westminster. Boy, that Josh knows how to get down! This may be a bit premature, but Madame Laura is seeing the chance for a bit of romance in her own future....anyway, back to your question....I see a very profitable year for you Janet! Hang in there, those nay sayers don't know what they are talking about!

Cheers

ML

Date:
03 Apr 2004
Time:
17:26:35
Remote User:

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Date:
06 Aug 2004
Time:
05:04:40
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what creature would you find in a school

Date:
06 Aug 2004
Time:
05:04:59
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Date:
06 Aug 2004
Time:
05:06:18
Remote User:

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what creature would you find in a school

Date:
23 Aug 2004
Time:
10:06:15
Remote User:

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Why does my owner baby talk to me when I'm 3?

Date:
02 Sep 2004
Time:
10:10:28
Remote User:

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why is bear, my dog, so scared.

Date:
09 Sep 2004
Time:
16:38:02
Remote User:

Comments

I have a loving home and good food that i eat with resish and enthusiasm. My 2 little mistresses are alot of fun to chase around, even if they don't have tails. Why am I so scared of everything? Bear.

Date:
26 Nov 2004
Time:
19:15:45
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26 Jan 2005
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Date:
14 Apr 2005
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18:01:25
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Date:
14 Apr 2005
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18:26:49
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Date:
14 Apr 2005
Time:
21:07:26
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Date:
15 Apr 2005
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08:47:26
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Date:
17 Apr 2005
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01:20:00
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Date:
17 Apr 2005
Time:
04:37:00
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Date:
17 Apr 2005
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06:57:26
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Date:
17 Apr 2005
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07:44:26
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Date:
17 Apr 2005
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08:41:41
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Date:
17 Apr 2005
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10:10:55
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Date:
17 Apr 2005
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11:05:04
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Date:
17 Apr 2005
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12:39:46
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Date:
17 Apr 2005
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14:18:00
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17 Apr 2005
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18:51:35
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Date:
17 Apr 2005
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20:25:38
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17 Apr 2005
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21:53:38
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18 Apr 2005
Time:
00:11:59
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Date:
18 Apr 2005
Time:
01:14:58
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18 Apr 2005
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02:00:12
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18 Apr 2005
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03:23:50
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18 Apr 2005
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04:45:04
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18 Apr 2005
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05:53:19
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